He whipped around and narrowed his eyes at the large screen in front of him. The AiBastard I. He crossed his arms across his muscular chest. Their nemesis had fired yet another round and the lasers would hit them soon.
He gave a smirk. “We’ll set ‘The Motherload’ on them.”
FYI: ‘The Motherload’ was the term he coined for their ultimate secret weapon. He thought it would be pretty catchy when situations like these come.
“Are you sure about this?” Jun, his right hand man and weapons expert had asked. Vectors 1 to 16 of their ship were already losing power.
“Captain!”
His eyes flicked towards the cockpit in front. A pair of beautiful striking eyes looked back at him. Inoue… They regarded each other for a moment. Why is that they always have this electrifying tension between them? Not surprising since he is the sexy captain of this ship and she’s the strong independent female onboard. They continued to stare at each other.
“Hello? Facing imminent death here,” Jun called, rolling his eyes.
He narrowed his eyes at him. He was just bitter Inoue never fell for his advances.
“Trust me on this,” he then said as he fixed his eyes on Inoue.
She took a deep breath.
“What do you have in mind?”
A winsome smile appeared on his lips.
“Go crazy.”
Inoue’s eyes then twinkled and she gave a reckless smile as she sat back down, ready to manoeuvre the ship and give everyone the ride of their lives. Jun started to flip the switches, waiting for his command to send ‘The Motherload’.
See? Isn’t it catchy?
His eyes went back to the screen. It was as if he could almost hear their nemesis, Aiba’s evil sinister laugh (Hi-Hi-Hi). He gave another smirk.
“Roll out!”
The AiBastard I never knew what hit them. He’s probably floating in space right now cursing and weeping. His crew cheered. (All hail ‘The Motherload’! All hail Captain Nino!) He saw Jun giving him the thumbs up sign. He gave a nod. But a movement caught his eyes. Coming towards him. Inoue. She was running to him. His feet moved towards her. Her eyes were shining. His heart pounded through his muscular chest. They were almost in each other’s reach-
“Ninomiya Kazunariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!” came Darth Vader’s voice.
He was instantly pulled back and the same pair of striking eyes looked back at him. Inoue lowered the Darth Vader voice changer in her hand and was now frowning at him.
“Let go of the Millennium Flamingo, Kazu!”
He glared at her, pushing his glasses up. His hands tightened on the steering wheel.
“Can’t you just give me more time to do that?”
The Millennium Flamingo. It had been with him for so long he can’t just leave it here like this! But they had to… The only way to get around Planet Pucca was on foot.
Why were they here?
They have travelled pass nine planets and a galaxy just to get here…
For the coveted Cinnamon Roll a.k.a The CinaRoll.
Legend has it that when you have found The CinaRoll, a powerful mythical being will appear and grant your heart’s greatest desire. That particular legend had come back to him when the Moo from the Planet Glog (Great Leechers of the Galaxy!) had transferred to their school. She needed someone to take her in her quest for The CinaRoll and who better to manipulate?
Oh. Oh. He knows the answer.
Him.
“Dude, you’ve been sitting here just muttering something about ‘The Motherload’. I think it’s time to go.”
His narrowed eyes snapped to Jun. He dislikes everything about him. From his too pale complexion to the way Inoue was looking at him right now! The most popular guy in their school. Just because he’s supposed to be this perfect, handsome ninety-one year old vampire who can run like lightning and compose lullabies. Oooooh… Honestly. Girls these days. Tsk.
Why is he even here? Oh, wait. It’s because he’s in love with Inoue the moment he’s sniffed her blood. How demented is that? What he doesn’t get is why Inoue fell for his Poodoo (Crap. Bull. Bullshit.) Grumble. Grumble.
And wait, he doesn’t care! He doesn’t care! He doesn’t care! Okay, how many times does he have to repeat that to himself?
“You won’t get it! The Millennium Flamingo and I have been through so mu-“
“It’s a bright pink RV you drive to school, Kazu. It’s not as if you’ve gone through intergalactic battles with it!” Inoue interrupted, rolling her eyes.
“If you have, you’d have won all the battles though. They wouldn’t be able to stop from laughing,” Jun mused.
He forced a grin at Jun’s lame remark as he and Inoue continued to snigger. And suddenly Jun felt it cute to take her hand and give it a kiss as he looked deeply into her eyes. What is it with vampires and their romanticism? Inoue gave out a giggle. That really cute giggle of hers. Gar. Moos aren’t supposed to be all giggly and cute! They’re blood-sucking leeches who are tough and conniving!
“Let’s go! Didn’t you say we should go?” he complained. Inoue’s giggles were ringing in his ears as he pushed past them, breaking them apart
He stashed his wand in his robe pocket and followed the two out the door. Involuntarily wishing Jun would burst into flames under the sunlight. But noooooo…. He just sparkles! Sparkles! How gay is that? What happened to good old vampires that are afraid of the sun? Ah… Those were the days.
He took one last look at his trusty Millennium Flamingo, a hand over his heart. So painful parting ways is. He turned forward; his narrowed eyes on the two, hands held together skipping (What the frack?) merrily towards what looked like an enchanted forest. He allowed himself a moment of imagining Jun shrieking ‘I’m melting! I’m melting’ under the sun. He then gave a sigh and moved his feet.
The CinaRoll will be theirs yet.
==
TSEEW!
He watched, satisfied, as the venomous tentacles of some unknown plant fizzled away. But he’s always wondered why his wand would make that weird sound. He turned his head back wondering if Inoue saw him do that, imagining himself to be looking all cool and such. The proud smile he had on his lips faded away as a scowl appeared on his face. Of course she wouldn’t notice! Jun was giving her a piggyback ride and it looks like they’re whispering sweet nothings to each other.
“I shall sparkle only for you, Mao,” fake Jun voice in his head.
“Aheeheehee. Make me a vampire so we can sparkle together forever,” fake Inoue voice in his head.
Dyeesh. He grumbled under his breath. He tore his eyes away from them giggling again and continued to move forward. Honestly, one can only take so much lovey-doveyness.
“Wait!” he heard Jun call.
“What now?” Impatience making his voice bite. They’d already stopped at a McDonald’s (The Moo was right, it is everywhere!) What? Does he need to retouch his powder-caked face?
“Why, Jun? Do you need more glitter to make you sparkle prettier?” Inoue asked, blinking up at him.
Or that.
“No. it’s time for me to play the piano and sing you a song.”
For galaxy’s sake! Everytime. Everytime. He watched exasperated as Jun made to sit down in front of the piano. Where in the moons he pulled that thing out he doesn’t know. Jun placed his fingers on the keys, ready to play Inoue’s request.
“I feel it in my fingers…. I feel it in my tooooooooesssssss….”
Inoue clapped happily as Jun smiled at her while he wanted to find a black hole right now and just float away into oblivion. Inoue swooned. He itched to blast that piano away (Jun included.) The hand holding his wand was slowly pointing to Jun on its own accord when suddenly Inoue gave a delighted yelp as she spotted something behind the tall greens.
“Look! It’s a Yamashita Panda!”
Gar. This is not good. Judging from the way her eyes were sparkling, she had every intention of taking it with them. And what’s so cute about Yamashita Pandas? They’re just a species of pandas that are known for their dead pan expressions.
He and Jun joined her and peered into the greens. The Yamashita Panda had its back turned to them. They waited with bated breaths as it slowly turned around and faced them.
“Nyam. Nyam. Nyam,” it said as it chewed on a piece of bamboo with its dead pan expression.
He and Jun watched as Inoue suddenly went up to it and pulled it towards them. It didn’t look too happy. But still, they couldn’t be sure coz it does only have one expression.
“Isn’t he so cute? I love him!”
“Nyam. Nyam. Nyam.”
He looked at Jun, who didn’t look too happy right now that he’s going to be sharing Inoue’s attention with the panda. Now he knows the feeling.
“His name is going to be Fifi! He’s going to be my Fifi!” Inoue.
What in the blazes. Fifi stared at her with his dead pan expression.
“You can’t take it with us!” he then said to her as he tugged her arm that was linked with Fifi’s.
“Why not?” Inoue complained.
“B-Because it’s not going to be of any use in our quest!”
“He will be! When things get rough, I can hug him and squish him and-“
“There will be no hugging and squishing of any kind!” His voice a little too loud and high-pitched.
The three stared at him for a while.
“Why are you so affected?” Jun then asked. “That should be me. Come on, Mao. You don’t need Fifi. Sparkle with me.”
Jun then grabbed Inoue, twirled her around and then dipped her, lowering his lips to bite her neck. His eyes widened as he pulled Inoue from Jun’s grasp.
“You can’t turn her into a vampire!”
“Why not?”
“The universe doesn’t need two sparkling vampires!”
“The universe could always use another sparkling vampire.”
“Nyam. Nyam. Nyam.”
“Sparkling Schmarkling! I just need to become immortal so I can rule the universe- Moo-wa-ha-ha-ha!” Inoue.
It was their turn to stare at her.
“See? All she wants is to make the universe hers!”
“Yes, and I shall call it ‘Moo-niverse’.”
What the frack?
“ROFL.” Inoue.
“See? See? She doesn’t really love you! She’s just using you! HAHAHA! What do you think about that huh? Huh?”
He almost looked manic as they gave him weird looks.
“Nyam. Nyam. Nyam.”
They continued to argue and pull on each other while Fifi continued with its NyamNyamNyams. At that moment, something up in the sky caught their attention. They squinted at it, wondering what it is, as it continued towards their direction.
“It’s a bird!” Jun.
“It’s a plane!” Him.
The object zoomed down towards them with its meteor-like tail and then landed at their feet, creating a small crater on the ground.
“No, it’s the CinaRoooooooooooooollll!” Inoue.
They stared down at it as it emitted a puff of smoke.
“Wow, that’s convenient,” he pointed out flatly.
“Stop complaining!” Inoue chided picking it up and bouncing it around in her hands as it was a little hot.
“So how do we summon the Supreme Being?’ Jun asked.
“Duh! You take a bite!” Inoue said and proceeded to do that.
The ground then started to shake. He felt Inoue hang on to his arm, his heart producing a number of dokidokis. But then Jun suddenly pulled her away and embraced her. Gar. They watched as the earth opened up and smoke was everywhere. A powerful energy was rising up from within.
“Who dares disturb my slumber?” a voice boomed.
Wait. He knows that voice. Arnold Schwarzenegger?! The Terminator?! THE TERMINATOR IS HERE?! Inoue gave him a sideways look as he tried to keep himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet. HE IS HERE!
Thank Yoda for killer cyborgs.
Coughing, they watched as the smoke started to dissipate revealing more clearly the two figures behind.
“Who dares disturb Amoeba the Magnificent?”
Ah Poodoo. (Crap. Bull. Bullshit.) So much for that.
They stared at the Supreme Being in comic disbelief. He was sitting on his throne, a rootbeer float with a bendable straw in hand and beside him, fanning him with a giant leaf, was an Ewok. In a pink tutu. Actually an Ewok mascot (with a huge crazy grin) in a pink tutu would be a more apt description.
Still, what the frack?
They blinked at the sight for a while.
“Do I dazzle you?” Amoeba the Magnificent then said in his booming Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.
“Hey, why didn’t I think of that?” Jun.
Amoeba the Magnificent then gave a laugh, stomping his feet in glee.
“That was fun, huh?”
His voice had become normal although slightly high-pitched.
“I’ve been practicing that for the last hundred years. Pretty good, eh? I knew I fooled you. Got you excited, huh?”
Amoeba the Magnificent pointed at him. He could feel his ears turning pink as he scoffed and sputtered in denial.
“Hey! What do you expect me to do while waiting for people to find the CinaRoll?” Amoeba the Magnificent reasoned as the other three continued to stare at him.
“I do a mean James Earl Jones, by the way,” he added.
Stare.
Amoeba the Magnificent passed his rootbeer float to the Ewok and then clapped his hands together. “So, it’s time for me to grant your wishes.”
“Wait,” Jun called again.
Amoeba the Magnificent looked taken aback. He narrowed his eyes. He had a sneaky suspicio-
“It’s time for me to play the piano again and sing to Mao.”
He hung his head in defeat.
“Nyam. Nyam. Nyam.”
“I feel it in my fingers…. I feel it in my tooooooooesssssss….”
Must not kill. Must not kill. He chanted over and over again in his head as Jun played while Fifi laid on his side on top of the piano, still chewing on the bamboo. (Nyam. Nyam. Nyam.) His eye twitched as Inoue and the Ewok in the pink tutu waltzed to the song, clearly enjoying themselves.
He shook his head and caught Amoeba the Magnificent humming along, lost in the music. Amoeba the Magnificent must have felt his stare and cleared his throat.
“Looks like they’ll be busy for a while. I’ll give you your heart’s greatest desire first then!”
Great balls of fire! He’s always wanted the latest Guitar Hero- Inoue’s laugh broke into his thoughts. His eyes went to her as the Ewok twirled her around. Her eyes were dancing when she stopped and attempted to pull down the Ewok’s tutu, laughing mischievously.
“Hello? Hello? Do I need to use my Arnold Schwarzenegger voice again? What is it you really want?”
His heart’s greatest desire?
He continued to ignore Amoeba the Magnificent as he looked at Inoue. She and the Ewok were now dancing the tango. His heart’s greatest desire… His mouth had gone dry…. Inoue’s laughter was in his ears…
**
Nino was sitting up in bed, his hair sticking out all over, his eyes widened blankly, staring into space.
That was one crazy ass dream.
He shouldn’t have drunk too much. How many times does he have to remind himself that alcohol is a by-product of the Dark Side? He winced a little as he felt his head. It weighed a ton. This must be how Queen Amidala felt like with her gigantic headpiece.
But what he doesn’t get is why his right eye was a little tender. He touched it gingerly. It’s not as if he’s been poking his own eye the whole night, right?
What really happened last night though? He couldn’t remember anything. Everything was hazy… He raked his hands through his hair, gave a sigh and looked up the ceiling absently. The dream coming back to him.
It was like a wacked dimension. (He wasn’t even part of the Twilight fandom!) Maybe all those times he had all those DVD marathons was seriously affecting his brain now. The dream was almost like a bad movie that could have an equally bad long title to go with it.
The Legion of the Moo-niverse: The Quest for the CinaRoll.
Heh.
What was more ridiculous was the fact that he appears to be jealous of Jun… over Inoue? Ha-Ha-Ha. Don’t think so. Bumblefluff! There’s no way. Who cares if he likes her and she likes him? Who cares? Really. Who cares?
His thoughts involuntarily drifted off to that… His greatest desire… What he wants more than anything… The image of Inoue laughing, her eyes crinkled came back to him… His heart was threatening to hammer. No. No. He was looking at the Ewok! That was what he was looking at! It was the Ewok!
The Ewok! The Ewok! The Ewok! The Ewo- Okay, he should stop sounding crazy.
Yeah… He’s always wanted a giant Ewok in a pink tutu.
He scratched his head in frustration. Not a really good idea, he thought wincing slightly. It was just a dream. That was it. There is no meaning to it! He tried to push those weird thoughts away as he swung his feet off the bed. He looked to the door, wondering if the Moo was up yet.
Maybe she can tell him what really happened last night. It’s just frustrating not knowing. He wouldn’t really make a fool of himself… Yeah… That’s right…
He wouldn’t…
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