Episode 2

Nino rubbed his eyes sleepily as he stepped out of his room. His half-closed eyes then went to the other bedroom door. He stood there staring at it. Maybe last night had all been a dream. A really really bad dream. His eyes went down to the pair of heels that was scattered outside the door. No. It hadn’t been a dream; his heart sinking. He scratched his head, the frustration coming back.

If only he had a time machine, he could go back and undo all this; avoid falling into her trap. Or if only he had the awesome ability to control minds. He could ask her to leave peacefully. That would be cooler. Sighing, he slowly walked towards the bathroom, yawning widely. His mind still a haze; he went to the sink, didn’t bother looking into the mirror and splashed water on his face. He then reached out automatically for his towel. Wiping his face, he looked into the mirror and noticed…

“Hoo!” he yelped and threw down the underwear he was holding. What in Yoda’s name- He whipped his head left and right. He felt the urge to pull on his hair.

His bathroom… His once organized and pristine bathroom… It looked like a hurricane had gone through it. In the form of a petite big-eyed girl.

Everything was in chaos. Her make-up were scattered around the sink. Her hair products, lotions and whatnots suddenly lined the racks, obscuring his stuff. Shampoo and soap lay open on the floor. And is he seeing her red nail polish open and dripping onto the floor? Her clothes were strewn on the slightly damp floor (the hamper was right there!). And her numerous undergarments were hanging on the towel bars and on the shower door.

He stood there in horror as his eyes took in everything. S-She’s a girl, right? Girls shouldn’t be such slobs! He then stomped out of the bathroom and knocked loudly on her door. Nothing. He pounded his fist, his jaw tightening. Zilch. He called out her name loudly for a few times. Nada.

He turned towards the bathroom, teeth gritted. He really should leave this mess for her to clean up later. She needed to be responsible! And should really remember she isn’t living alone! He needed to survive as well! His chest heaving in frustration, he stalked off towards his room but after a few steps turned back. He looked at the mess again and sighed.

He came back again with a pair of thongs and rubber gloves. Glaring back at her door first before stepping into the bathroom. Just trying to pretend he’s battling alien monsters to keep his mood in check.

**

ATTENTION: RESIDENT INOUE

In lieu of your more-than-suspect behaviour, I, Landlord Ninomiya, believe it is best, in the interest of a harmonious living environment, to present to you some rules that must always be followed and memorized by heart. (NOTE: More rules are subject to be added depending on future circumstances.)

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #1: No more shenanigans. (I mean it!)

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #2: Articles of clothing worn by Resident Inoue should not be too flashy. In short, Resident Inoue should be covered up conservatively.

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #3: Bathroom must at all times be kept clean, organized and sensitive-garments-free.

Mao stared at the paper stuck to her door, an amused smile playing on her lips. Somehow it was impossible for him not to show his dorkiness. She had opened her door, yawning, and caught sight of it. He had even stuck at least three pages of paper, as if knowing more rules were bound to be added. Well, she herself wouldn’t put that past her, she thought, grinning and headed towards the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, she peeked in and grabbed the milk carton. Closing it, she noticed a picture stuck to it with a “The Truth Is Out There” magnet. It was Kazu with the two guys she recognized from the coffee shop. They had party hats on celebrating what looked to be Kazu’s birthday.

She smiled at the picture. It was just right timing she was in that coffee shop and overheard their interesting conversation. She had been looking for a place for a while now. It would be her first time living outside but she wasn’t keen about the I-have-to-do-everything-on-my-own part. Their conversation proved to be a huge help to her. She found out Kazu is just the person she needs. A sweet simple guy that she can easily… convince. Plus, he was the responsible type that can make life easy for her.

She poured the milk into a C3PO mug she took out and surveyed the small house. There wasn’t much but it gave off that warm feeling you would want to go home to. She hadn’t ever felt that. She could get used to it.

Two movie posters were up on the wall beside the bookshelf. A Star Wars 1977 movie poster. The other one was the X-Files. A Darth Vader mask was jammed in with the books. Her eyes fell on the toy light saber on the coffee table, along with some tiny action figures. She picked up the sword and switched on the light. It glowed red. Geek, she thought.

She then walked towards the sliding wooden doors that led to a small back porch and backyard, sipping her milk. Watching the clothes hanging outside fluttering lightly in the wind, she contemplated what she could do for the day. Gulping down the rest of the milk, she left the mug on the kitchen table, along with the milk carton, and walked towards the bathroom, stretching luxuriously.

He really is a gift from heaven or from whatever planet he came down from, she thought contentedly as she looked at the spotless and once again organized bathroom. Ah. Time for a shower. Now, where were her underwear?

**

Nino rinsed the mop under the running water, irritation evident on his face. Why shouldn’t he just throw her out? He had the right to! She obviously had resorted to tactics to make him agree to their arrangement. He should just take all of her things, throw them out and demand for her to leave. But he couldn’t seem to work up the courage to do it… Somehow, he knew he shouldn’t underestimate her too much. He can’t do things to provoke her.

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering…,” he muttered to himself.

“Are you quoting Star Wars again?” Aiba’s voice came from behind him.

Nino continued rinsing the mop, ignoring him.

“You seem to be in a sour mood today,” Aiba observed. That doesn’t happen much. He was almost late for work too. “Did you not win your Ewoks?”

Nino narrowed his eyes at him. The bid was still going on. But a certain DarthVaderRox is trying to outbid him. And that thought added more to his irritation. He still wasn’t able to tell Jun and Aiba about his new pain of a housemate owing to the fact there had been a lot of customers that day. He needed to talk to them soon and ask for advice. There had to be a way out of this.

“Is Jun back yet?” he asked Aiba. He had told him to come back later in the day. There was something important they needed to discuss. His life depended on it! Jun and Aiba had stared blankly at him when he said that bit.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him come in,” Aiba replied and started heading out.

“I’ll be right out,” Nino said.

**

Aiba headed towards Jun’s usual table. Good thing things have slowed down a bit.

“What’s up with Nino?” Jun asked as Aiba sat down next to him.

Aiba shrugged. “Weird he is so,” he said, trying to be all Yoda.

Jun rolled his eyes at him. “This is the first time I’ve heard him sounding panicked. Well, besides that time Aoi just moved in.”

Before Aiba could answer, Nino plopped down in front of them, wiping his hands with a towel. “Glad we can finally talk. I really-“

At that moment, the door opened. Aiba looked to the entrance and nudged Jun. Jun followed his gaze and an appreciative smile appeared on his lips. Nino frowned at his distracted friends and turned around to see what it was.

A petite girl was standing there, looking around as she pushed her sunglasses up on her hair. Jun observed the mini-skirt that hugged her hips nicely and showed a good amount of legs. Both Jun and Aiba’s eyes lingered on the way her loose top had come off one perfectly-shaped shoulder. Her big almond-shaped eyes stopped at their table.

“She’s mine,” Jun quickly said.

“Hey, I saw her first!”

“She’s looking this way! And smiling,” Jun said as he straightened up.

“Obviously, she’s looking at me,” Aiba retorted.

“Dream on!”

They watched as the girl, smiling more widely, walked towards them, as they continued debating who gets her when she spoke up. “Kazu! There you are!”

Jun and Aiba stared at each other. Kazu? Their eyes snapped to Nino, who had a dark look on his face. Which confused them more. The girl plopped down beside him and waved to them.

She then turned to Nino. “Kazu, where did you put my underwear?”

Nino turned scarlet as Jun and Aiba’s mouths dropped open involuntarily.

“I placed them on a chair outside your door,” he hissed softly as he looked around to see if anyone overheard. She should really keep her voice down.

Mao chuckled. “I was just messing with you. I thought you took them when I couldn’t find them at first.”

“I’m not a pervert!”

“Just tell me when your perverted side suddenly decides to surface. I can give you some. Just ask,” she grinned mischievously as Nino opened and closed his mouth, agitated.

She then faced the two who were staring at them mouths agape.

“Isn’t he so cute when he’s agitated? I’m Inoue Mao by the way. Kazu’s new housemate,” she grinned at them as she places her head on Nino’s shoulder. He was not amused.

“W-What?!” they exclaimed simultaneously.

“Uh-huh,” Mao nodded cheerfully. “Ah. I need an iced latte.”

Nino had his hand over his face as Mao jumped up and went to the counter. This time, Jun and Aiba were the ones who were opening and closing their mouths, shocked. Nino relayed the events that had happened.

“Please help me get rid of her,” he pleaded softy when he finished. He just wanted his peace and quiet back.

Jun stared at him. “Are you an idiot? Why would you want to get rid of her?”

Aiba echoed his sentiments, nodding vigorously. Nino stared at them, exasperated. Haven’t they been listening?

“She’s not that simple, okay?” he said, glancing to see if she was coming back. “She’s too forward and-“

“As long as she’s not a crazed psycho who will smother you when you’re sleeping, she’s okay,” Aiba reassured.

“Stop putting ideas into his head!” Jun frowned at him when Nino’s eyes widened.

Nino narrowed his eyes at the two of them. “You guys just want her around, don’t you?”

They weren’t even concerned for him, he thought bitterly as he watched the two become indignant at what he said. Mao suddenly appeared beside him, sipping her iced latte.

“I have to go, Kazu-ki!” she said, patting him on the head. He tried to wave her hand away while pleading with his eyes at Aiba, who wasn’t paying attention.

“Oh, look! I have to go too,” Jun said loudly as Aiba glared at him.

Mao then raised her hand up in the universal alien greeting sign and then cheerfully headed towards the door, followed quickly by Jun. Aiba was left pouting.

“A little help here?” Nino said, rubbing his temples.

Aiba’s gaze followed Mao and Jun as they walked out. “Maybe we could switch. You can have Sakurai Sho as a housemate,” he mused.

Sho was another party animal but somehow he would gladly take him over Inoue anytime. “Yes please!” he cried, although he knew Aiba wasn’t serious.

“You are desperate.”

“She’s not really good for my blood pressure,” Nino said glumly and buried his head in his arms.

**

“Why are you still following me?” Mao asked as she and Jun walked along the street lined with boutiques. Oooh… pretty shoes.

“I’m not following you,” Jun shot back. “We’re just going in the same direction.”

Mao rolled her eyes. Jun grimaced at himself. He never was one to have any trouble with girls. But she was particularly oblivious to his looks and charms. Something that never ever happens. He contemplated that for a while. Was it his hair that day? He had tried a different loo- He bumped into her as she had suddenly stopped in her tracks. Jun looked around, there was a group of teenage girls coming towards them. In a split second, Mao had thrown her arms around his neck, pulled him down and buried her face in the curve of his neck. He stood there, shocked and wide-eyed as the group of girls, giggling, walked past them.

They stayed there in that position for a while. Mao peeked out, checking if the coast was clear.

“W-Wha-,” Jun started.

Mao quickly pulled back and looked at him. A cheerful smile then made her nose crinkle. “How about we go watch a movie, Jun-kun?”

Jun stared at her for a while. She had been aloof and distant just before. What was behind this sweet smile now? She then linked her arms with his and started to pull him.

“I want popcorn, chocolates…,” she went on as Jun could only follow helplessly. Looking a bit disoriented at what just occurred and then shrugged it off, as Mao grinned up at him becoming friendlier.

**

Nino sleepily got up his bed and scratched his stomach. He looked to the clock. It was three in the morning. What was he doing up anyway? He hadn’t heard her come home yet though. He gave a scowl. What’s it to him anyway? Wouldn’t it be better if she never ever came back? It’s that Aiba’s fault! He had been asking for her number when she and Jun had left.

“What? You don’t even have her number?” Aiba exclaimed in disbelief.

“So?”

“Dude, what kind of a housemate are you? Aren’t you even concerned about her safety? You’re responsible for her in some ways too, you know. You guys are living under the same roof. What if she suddenly gets into an accident? You want that hanging over you? She’s a helpless girl all alone-“

“Okay, okay. I’ll get her number for you!” Nino snapped at him.

“Yosh!”

But Aiba’s words had stuck to him. No matter how evil she is, she’s still a girl and there’s no saying that she may have an encounter with perverts, criminals, members of the underworld… Though he’d have more sympathy for them if they ever bump into her.

She better get home soon. Maybe he should put up a curfew. His ears suddenly perked up. Someone was moving around outside. So she is home. He made to lie back down in bed but stopped. He should take this opportunity to go have a serious talk with her now. He took a deep breath and stood up.

The lights were off. She seemed to be rummaging in the fridge. He slowly walked towards the kitchen and then froze. His eyes suddenly widening as he saw the person straightening up from the fridge. That isn’t Inoue! He suddenly crouched down and peeked out. The intruder was holding a bottle of jam in his hand.

He fumbled for something that would serve as a weapon. His hands closed in on something. Taking another deep breath to calm his nerves, he then gave a yell as he jumped up, switched on the lights and held his toy light saber in front of him.

“Drop that jam!” he shouted, his mind a blank. What was he doing? He accidentally pushed a button. His sword lit up.

The intruder blinked at him. A piece of bread in his mouth. Okay, so maybe he in his Chewbacca pyjamas holding on to a toy sword doesn’t scream intimidating.

“My housemate’s a professional wrestler!” he yelled loudly, gulping. “You better get out of here or he’ll squeeze you to a pulp!”

“What are you doing?”

Nino whirled around. Inoue stood there giving him a weirded out look. She had come out after hearing Nino’s frantic yells and found him standing there waving a lighted saber around.

Was she blind or something? Nino thought. Doesn’t she see the intruder standing there? All six foot tall of him?

“S-Stay behind me! There’s a jam burglar here!” he said and whipped his head back to the intruder, who pulled out the bread from his mouth and chewed, looking amused.

“I have another housemate!” he babbled on, his light saber at the ready.

He heard a giggle break out behind him. Mao looked up at Nino, her eyes full of laughter. “Jam burglar?”

Her eyes met the intruder’s and they both burst into loud laughter. Mao was almost in tears. Nino stood there looking lost.

“Silly Kazu, he’s Shin!” she said in between gasps.

“My name is Shun,” the guy corrected.

“That’s what I said,” Mao said as Shun shrugged.

Nino blinked. “Who is Shun?”

“My friend.”

The intruder waved at him, grinning. Ah, that explains it. Yeah, right.

“What is he doing here?” he glared at her, trying to cover up that awkward situation.

“For jam?” Loud snickers. Nino narrowed his eyes at them.

“He’ll be staying here for the night,” Mao explained.

Nino frowned at that. This girl… Shun had moved on to spreading jam.

“And how long have you and Shun been friends?” he feigned curiosity, smiling. He somehow had a feeling…

Mao smiled back at him. “Five hours maybe?”

She looked to Shun who gave a nod, as he bit into his sandwich. Nino nodded solemnly at that.

And then,” Are you kidding me?!”

Mao and Shun looked at him, startled. Nino stomped towards Shun and started pushing him towards the door. Shun could only bite into his sandwich as he looked to Mao.

“What the hell? Can’t you let him stay for the night?” Mao protested as she tried to pull Shun back.

“No, because you don’t really know him. Stop inviting strange men into my house!” he said, teeth gritted, continuing to push Shun out.

“It’s my house too! I can do anything I want!”

“No, you can’t! I am still the landlord!” he said as Mao made a face at him.

“Don’t embarrass me in front of my friend!” she yelled. Shun’s ears were slightly ringing from all the shouting.

Nino had managed to push him out the door, throwing his shoes out after him. Shun blinked as the door slammed shut. Shouting continued.

“Who are you anyway, my dad?!” she scowled at him and made to open the door to let Shun in again.

Nino grabbed her arm to stop her. “Oh, so now your dad cares enough about you instead of just beating you up!”

“Let me go!” she growled as she made a move for the door again.

“You know what? You can just go with him and leave if you want to!”

They struggled and in the process his light saber had hit Mao hard square in the face. Nino froze as Mao’s hand slowly reached up and touched her face lightly. His heart pounded.

“I-I didn’t mean to do that,” he said slowly. He took a step back. Mao’s eyes snapped to him.

Help.

He quickly sprinted away as Mao, growling, jumped on him and started hitting him everywhere.

“Geroffme!” he cried, trying to throw her off as Mao pulled on his hair.

“How dare you hit me!”

“It wasn’t on purpose!”

He slipped and they landed on the floor. He was on his back now as Mao sat over his chest, still pounding him. It hurt. Really hurt. She really can hit.

“Stop it!” he shouted and then realized they had been making too much noise. He slapped her hands away and shushed her, trying to cover her mouth.

Mao’s angry tirade stopped. She grabbed hold of his hands and started sniffing them. Nino could only stare up at her wide-eyed and confused. She then started sniffing him, like a dog. From his hair to his neck to his chest. What the hell?

“W-What are you doing?” he demanded as he tried to push her off. “You really don’t give a person his space, do you?”

“You smell of cinnamon,” she then said.

“So?” he frowned at her. He had been stacking cinnamon rolls that day.

“From now on, you have to bring me home a cinnamon roll each day, got it?” she ordered, poking him on the chest.

“Why?”

“Coz I love them. Don’t forget,” she warned.

“Why do I have to listen to you?”

She smiled down at him. “You don’t want me to wake up the neighbours right now, do you?”

Nino thought about that and quickly nodded. “Okay, okay. Cinnamon roll.”

Mao grinned, satisfied. She looked down at his Chewbacca pyjamas. The way he looked earlier supposedly trying to protect her… She chuckled out loud.

“What are you so amused about?” he said warily, somehow having an idea.

“You just looked so adorable in your widdle Star Wars pyjamas waving your widdle glowing sword.”

Nino glared up at her. “W-Well, that shirt you have on doesn’t suit you!”

He really can’t think of a strong retort. Mao looked down at her oversized shirt with a large cartoon frog on the front.

“What? I like frogs.”

“It’s cute. You’re uncute. Therefore, it doesn’t suit you.” Why doesn’t he just shut his mouth? He groaned inwardly.

Mao gave an amused smirk. Geek. She then grabbed a handful of his hair and started shaking his head left and right as he protested.

“My cinnamon rolls,” she reminded and then got up. Nino pouted as she walked off in her big soft frog slippers.

“Hey…,” he said, raising himself up.

Mao turned her head back to him.

“Give me your phone number. So… situations like these can be prevented,” he explained. It doesn’t have anything to do with concern for her or anything. He was looking out more for himself here. Mao regarded him silently for a while and then smiled.

**

Mao yawned and plopped down on her bed, stretching. An unconscious smile appeared in her lips. Jam burglar, she thought, amused, as her eyes slowly closed. The smell of cinnamon lulling her into a comfortable sleep.

**

“Are you done yet?” Nino wailed outside the bathroom door, swaying.

“In a minute,” Mao said in a sing-song voice.

“You said that five minutes ago!”

“Did I?”

He gave a glare. “Have you read the new rules?”

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #4: Do not leave things lying around! Clean up.

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #5: No bringing of strange men into the house. (Or strange anything for that matter.)

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #6: Mention of “Jam Burglar” will lead to expulsion.

Must-follow-at-all-cost Rule #7: Sniffing of the landlord from now on is strictly prohibited.

He heard her start humming. He gave the door a dark look. She was being deliberate! She must be trying to get back at him for last night. Why is she up so early? He grumbled. His toes curled. He hugged the wall, miserable. He really needed to go. He knocked on the door weakly. Mao had started singing. Gar. He can’t take this anymore.

He quickly ran towards the sliding doors and out onto the backyard. That’s a good spot, he thought. He could breathe now and he was sighing in relied as he did his business, looking up to the bright cloudless sky.

“Nino?” someone greeted. “Good morning!”

He froze and slowly turned his head. Aoi. Wookies! He forgot about the shortcut people usually take back here! His heart racing, he frantically tried to finish fast. Aoi was walking nearer towards him, mild confusion on her face. He was acting a bit strange… He was glad that the wall blocked most of him. Hurry, he thought frantically.

Finally! “G-Good morning” he then gave a wave, looked at his hand and then jammed it into his shorts pockets.

Aoi smiled at him from the other side of the low wall. He seemed to be going red again.

“W-Where did you come from?”

“Just went to get milk,” she lifted up her bag.

Nino nodded at that. “My milk got spoiled yesterday. Someone- I mean I left it accidentally out on the table.”

What was he thinking? Aoi smiled kindly at what he said. Think of something not weird to say, he scolded himself.

“You-,” they both said simultaneously and then chuckled sheepishly.

“Kazu!”

Nino froze and winced inwardly. As Aoi tried to hide her shock at what she was seeing. Nino slowly looked back, his heart sinking. Inoue was standing on the porch with just a towel wrapped around her.

“Where are my underwear?”

Nino scowled at Mao and then turned to Aoi. She looked a little lost.

“Sh-She’s such a kidder,” he said, giving an awkward laugh.

Mao observed Nino and the girl he was with. And then a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. She noisily walked towards them as Nino prayed for lightning to strike or something. Any distraction will do!

“You must be Aoi!” she greeted cheerfully.

Nino’s head snapped to her and gave her a warning look. This girl…

Aoi smiled a little unsure. “Y-Yes and you are…”

“Inoue Mao,” she grinned. “I’m Kazu’s-“

“Distant relative!” Nino blurted out.

Mao and Aoi both stared at him. “Really, really distant relative. She’s just here for the summer and then she’s gone!”

Mao regarded him silently. And then happily put her arm around him, pulling him close. “Yes! Kazu’s really so welcoming! I’m his father’s cousin’s mother’s nephew’s niece!”

Aoi tried to work that out as Nino glared at Mao.

“Don’t ruin things,” he hissed under his breath. “And you should have at least put some clothes on first!”

Mao smiled sweetly at him. “She’s the one you always talk about, huh, Kazu?”

“W-What?” Nino’s eyes snapped to Aoi, who was suddenly looking shy.

“Yeah. The angel. The goddess. Helen of Troy!” she continued, grinning as she watched Nino squirm.

“I-I didn’t say that!” he explained. “Well, I’m not really saying you can’t be all those-“

Lame. He was so lame.

“Why don’t you come over some time, Aoi?” Mao invited cheerfully.

Aoi’s eyes widened. She looked at Nino who had sort of become dazed.

“Yep! We’ll invite all our friends. Right, Kazu?” she turned to Nino innocently.

Nino looked at her helplessly and could just nod. Aoi looked a little confused but slowly nodded. When she had left, Nino stood there, his eyes glinting at Mao who just grinned up at him, feigning innocence.

“What are you up to?”

“What?” Mao said, acting hurt at his assumption. “I’m doing you a favour here!”

“I don’t need your help!”

Well… That really wasn’t true…

Mao rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m sure you’d forever just be staring at her all googly-eyed until your species comes down and takes over Earth. And even then, you’d still remain googly-eyed.”

Nino scowled at her. “J-Just go in and put some clothes on!”

Mao smiled at him. The way you would smile when you have someone under your thumb. “You owe me for this.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve made some progress with Aoi because of me. Therefore, you owe me. I’ll be expecting something in return of course.”

Nino could only gape at her. What progress? She was impossible!

“I’ll let you know when I think of something,” she then said, pinching his cheek. “You are too adorable!”

She then skipped towards the house as Nino stood there dumbstruck. He slowly looked up towards the sky. Please, just take him out of here. Out of this craziness.

“Beam me up, Scotty.”

The wind rustled his hair. He hung his head. Nothing. He started towards the house and found Inoue, looking at him all amused, leaning against the door frame. He worked up a mean glare.

“I guess you’re stuck with me,” she chirped. And then dramatically bowing to him, “May the Force be with you.”

She then shook her head and chuckled endearingly as she went inside the house, asking once more for her underwear. Nino trudged sullenly towards the house.

Use the Force, Nino. Use the Force. Ah, who was he kidding? Gar.